Good old sunny Megaman Zero. No, wait, it's depressing. But at least the characters are interesting. Capcom went a little heavy on the Biblical references this time around, making the game a wide, ass-wagging target for Toastyfrog's Guide to Western Religion in Japanese videogames. Or maybe not, since the game is surprisingly smart about the symbolism until X grows six wings at the end of the adventure. At least until that point, it was safe to say that Zero wasn't on a mission to kill God. But sure, the characters are still fun. Particularily in Japan, where there's lots of extra tidbits about X's generals. Not many of them made it here. Sigh. For that reason, I thank Megaman Universe for their unmolested character bios. Unlike my X character summaries, these are not in alphabetical order. Lazy, lazy, lazy. ZERO "When an enemy appears... I'll terminate it..." We all know Zero. But let's recap. Z boy sealed himself away for 100 years at the end of Megaman X6, presumably in order to purge himself of the Maverick Virus, Zero Virus, Sigma Virus, whatever the hell his affliction was. He is jostled awake by Ciel, who pleads with him to save her from clonebots who look suspiciously familiar. If someone roused me from a good sleep and started throwing demands, I'd bite their head off. Zero does as Ciel asks, otherwise there'd be no game. He remembers X, and is surprised to hear he's the head of Neo Arcadia, a city with a goverment that's bent on slaughtering reploids. He also has his eye on a mysterious cyber-elf who throws him a familiar sabre during a crucial battle, and returns again to open the way to Neo Arcadia. Zero is gruff and a 'bot of few words, but he seems to care for the Resistence, particularily Ciel. He saves the Resistence base from destruction several times, and rescues members in distress. It's interesting to note, however, that Zero's 100 years of cleansing sleep were never completed... CIEL "Zero? Help me. Please." I once noted that Ciel wants a million babies. I stand by this. Ciel is a human female, a brilliant scientist who once hunted reploids with Neo Arcadia until she realised it was bad and wrong. She ran away to live with the reploids Neo Arcadia accused of being Maverick, and is beloved by them. After an attack on the base, the first concern of the reploid Resistence is, "How's Ciel?" She keeps them together, and acts like a mother to them all. Ciel is constantly imploring for Zero's help in taking down Neo Arcadian forces, and she's grateful, even when Zero bungs up his missions. However, her main concern is Zero's well-being; she obviously feels something for him. Chunga chunga. Exploration of Ciel's room reveals a coffee pot, and her approval rating soared 100 points in my book. Ciel has a major secret, but she won't blurt it until Zero's too far along in the game to bother kicking her ass over over the matter. ALOUETTE "Zero, they say that a human would shed tears over a situation like this... A young reploid girl. Don't ask me who'd bother building a little reploid girl; I'm beyond explainations. Alouette is Ciel's adopted daughter, and she constantly carries a stuffed bunny Ciel made for her. At least, I think it's a bunny. Could be a cat, I suppose. Alouette and Ciel are very close. Alouette also seems to know quite a bit about cyber-elves. DANDE "Then I'll call you Mr. Zero. My name is Dande." A Resistence member who is a little lacking in confidence, but is fond of Zero. He maintains his fondness even when Zero messes up mission after mission and others start to snicker behind his back. IBU "What I mean is ... simply ... always be my friend." Resident fat reploid. Scares easily. Everyone laughs at him. Hates the world, except Ciel, whom he swears he'll fight for until she "can laugh and smile from the bottom of her heart." He starts off indifferent to Zero, but gradually confides in him more. CERVEAU " I hope you continue to support the Resistance." Weapons engineer. He develops all sorts of neat little toys for Zero. ANDREW "There's just as many farewells for that as there are hellos." Old reploid who rambles, but has a few interesting stories. He was built young and handsome, and he fell in love with a human woman. They lived together happily until the woman grew old while he stayed young. Andrew asked Ciel to modify his looks so that he'd likewise be old and his wife wouldn't feel resentful. Andrew was also a sailor, and his wish is to return to the sea whenever peace is restored. We're talking Capcom, Andrew. Your beloved ocean will dry up before they satisfactorily end a saga. PASSY "Remember, everyone is waiting for your safe return!" Ciel's cyber-elf who sacrifices her life to revive Zero IN THE RESISTENCE'S DARKEST HOUR. She's dead now. ANUBIS "En-garde, old-timer!" An Anubis-styled reploid, and Fafnir's best soldier. As can probably be expected, he calls zombies forth from the grave to give Zero a bad day. MAHA GANESHARRIF "I'm in charge of data processing and handling information. Maha is an elephant reploid in charge of Neo Arcadia's data processing. His attacks include rolling around and a hundred-hand slap. Honda! AZTEC FALCON "I'll dispose of both of you together!" A falcon reploid, and dedicated soldier of Harpiua. He works in the Maverick Disposal Centre and seems to enjoy his job very much. BLIZZACK STAGGROF "Time to go back to sleep..." A yak-type reploid ... I think. One of Leviathan's warriors. Uses ice-based attacks. HANUMACHINE "I'll retire you for the glory of the Stealth Unit! A monkey-like reploid and apprentice to the general Phantom. He actually manages to infiltrate the Resistence Base and threatens their limited supply of Energen crystals, which the renegade reploids need to survive. HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS "You are trespassing on the sanctuary of master X. A beetle reploid with a sword attack. He meets Zero in Neo Arcadia and reveals himself to be a soldier of Harpiua, and a guardian of X. HARPIUA "You shall repent and atone for your sins, Zero!" One of Copy X's Grand Devas, a green general with a dive-bomb attack. There's still debate over whether or not Harpiua is male or a female, but it's been confirmed that he is indeed male. Still, if you want to call him a girl, go ahead. He's not the most masculine character to grace the Game Boy Advance, and Capcom USA seems to push him as one, besides. Harpiua was put to work building a biosphere so that humans could re-cultiviate the planet (likely following the Eurasia Incident in X5, which left the surface world uninhabitable for humans). Circumstances led him away from his work and latched him to X's side. Harpiua's name stems from "Harpy," the mythological nasty flying women (which is another reason he's believed to be a female by some). FAFNIR "Now don't let me down, kid!!" Another one of the Grand Devas. Fafnir is a firey, red warrior, bad-tempered and lusting for the fight. Like Harpiua, he worked to clean up the world following the Eurasia Incident. Specifically, he cleaned up severely polluted land so that animals and humans could flourish once more. Fafnir's name in the USA is actually "Fefnir," but I'm still convinced that's a mispelling, since "Fafnir" is the name of a norse dragon. Being a fire-based warrior, "Fafnir" just makes a lot of sense (and his gun is shaped like a dragon, besides). Of course, it's not official by any means, and Fafnir's name has several different spellings. I like this one. Ignore me. It's interesting to note that Fafnir is dark-skinned, which is something you don't see often in games. For more Fafnir-y goodness, I recommend Purple Ruby Red. Fafnir's dragon-maw gun seperates into two pieces named "Sodom" and "Gomorrah." I said that would probably not be mentioned in the American version of the game. I was right. LEVIATHAN "Don't hold back just because I'm a woman!" The third Grand Deva. Leviathan the blue general is a top-notch swimmer, and her attacks are ice-based. She was in charge of water purification before she left to work with X. She's small, but very quick and cocky. PHANTOM "Every generation has its legend. However, a lost legend should remain lost." The last Grand Deva, and the only one without a job prior to his service to X. He commands the Stealth Unit and is fiercely dedicated to his master. In fact, following his defeat at Zero's hands, he kills himself, unlike the other generals who merely run. One might argue that, because of this rash action, we'll never see Phantom again. But that would make too much sense. X "I'll leave this world to you." X disappeared sometime after Zero went into hibernation. He fought endless battles with Sigma and the Mavericks until he finally burned out and realised the danger he faced; he was becoming desensitised to fighting. In the American translation, X tells Zero, "I no longer cared about fighting enemies." In the original Japanese text, however, X says, "I no longer cared about the enemies I fought." The omission of one word makes all the difference in X's character and explaination. English is such a finicky language. X exists in 22XX as an angellic, etheral cyber-elf. He assits Zero on a couple of ocassions and begs his friend to let him rest for a little while. So X vanished before the Mavericks were purged and Neo Arcadia was built. His fate ties into ... (Copy) X "The utopia that humans have searched for is here, in Neo Arcadia." Copy X lolls in Neo Arcadia with his four generals, the Grand Devas. It's known for certain that he is a creation of Ciel, a clone of the original X. The silly lass never specifies why she built him, but one would assume it was for a good cause. In fact, it's very possible that X wasn't the one to finally drive back Sigma and the Mavericks; it was likely Copy X. Copy X, however, is an extremeist. Neo Arcadia has no Mavericks to threaten humans, it's true, but it cost the lives of countless innocent reploids. Copy X can change his elemental strengths and weaknesses at will to attack his enemies. If that fails, he can transform into a robotic seraph.

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